This probably should have been my first blog post. Alas, hindsight is 20/20. Here we go.
I am fairly haughty.
This gets me in trouble sometimes. Other times it allows me to gloat victoriously as I shatter people’s nonsensical notions about the way they believe the world works. A more crude term comes to mind, but gloat will have to do.
I adore reading because it allows me to be more knowledgeable on a host of subjects. I gloat while I read, frequently giving into maniacal laughs in my head when I finish a book where I’ve crammed my head with facts most people do not know. I plot and plan ways to crush the opinions held by those who do not agree with me. I memorize facts, dates, sources, studies and can spit them out whenever I need to and win conversational debates with my friends, family and coworkers.
My mother in many ways bred me like this. Whenever I would come up to her with a bit of information I’d read, seen or overheard she would ask “who is your source?” If I couldn’t provide an answer (or was too ashamed to admit the truth) she wouldn’t believe me.
I despised this treatment but it taught me (what I consider to be) a skill. A fact is a lone swordsman; context is the entire battlefield. If my opponent has a single fact, but I can play an entire army against him, I win.
Most conversations have end goals for me. I either want to retrieve information from someone or – more often than not – I want to win. Either way, it must suck to talk to me sometimes.
So back to my raging pride issue.
I do not mince words. In fact, I specifically choose words to be more cutting. The deeper the cut, the longer you will remember it. Or at least that’s how it works in my head. I like my opinion. I am proud of my opinion. If I actually bother to use any strategic thinking on a topic, you have to outmaneuver me to get me to concede. Even if you don’t know more but you manage to sound smarter, I’ll admit defeat.
The short version of the story is that I need more humility and that I always will. That said, you will likely not find many humble posts on this page. I like my words to leave a mark. I apologize in advance if that mark is a bruise. If you show up here frequently disagreeing, don’t be invisible! Fight me! I love love love a good debate. It’s not what I live for but it’s near the top of the list of things I enjoy.
And sometimes (or often, if you’re so inclined) feel free to remind me that I am a proud woman whose mouth is a recommended place to put a sock. Or hands, as the case may be.