jerk

I am SO devisive.

Anyone who knows me will roll their eyes and say “Yes Victoria, and the sky is dark at night”. It’s really a no-brainer.

But I don’t think it really hit me until this week. I knew I liked to sitr the pot… and sometimes throw a little c4 underneath it. Still, I somehow never realized how arrogantly obnoxious I am in my opinions. Anyone who have ever attempted to acheive a higher lever of self-awareness can tell you without hesitation that believing yourself to be self-aware is the biggest blindspot of them all. But I didn’t realize I was this bad.

The question becomes “How does Victoria glorify God in her arrogant obnoxiousness?” The answer is obvious: I don’t.

Now what?

The first verse that comes to mind that contains the word humility is Proverbs 22:4 – Humility and the fear of the Lord bring riches, honor and life. (NIV) Not exactly helpful, given my brain’s propensity to focus on the word “rich” or “riches” in any verse and forget what the verse actually says.

Moving on.

Colossians 3:12 & 13 seems like a btter place to land. 

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness,  humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

I’m not making any promises. There will be no money-back guarantee if I fail to remain humble for duration of my blog (or life). It’s obvious that this will always be my struggle. I love to write. I love the sound of my own voice and self-apparent logic of my own opinions. I love making other people wrong.

It’s why I do research and can spend 18 hours a day deep in thought on how to destroy intellectual opponents. It’s why I turn everything (with certain people) into a debate and spit out cutting remarks on instinct. I love it. And I shouldn’t.

Clearly there is nothing wrong with having an opinion. But if God hates pride then my love is severely misplaced and this attitude needs out of my life, and quickly.

But he gives us more grace…

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