I guess I should start off with some thankfulness. Because I am thankful, not because I feel obligated.
The Lord has been so gracious to us. He’s blessed us so much these last few weeks. Even when it was hard and we didn’t know what was going on. Just wow.
N (my hubs) and I have had opposite schedules since we got married. He worked nights and I worked a regular 9-5 office job. Well, these last few weeks we’ve been blessed to have the same schedule. It’s been amazing! I’ll admit I am slacking in my training but since we’re back to opposite schedules in a few weeks, I’m not too worried about it. After eight months of being completely opposite, we’ve had a few weeks to just hang out after work – and go to bed at the same time! – it’s been great!
It’s been strange how this short season has made me so grateful for the littlest things. It’s really been a stretching time for me, adjusting my attitude and the way I view life and theology. There have been really hard patches and some very enlightened-feeling moments.
So N and I have had a very specific prayer for the last few months. We are coming down to the wire with it and I’m trying to wrap my brain around that. It will be a very obvious yes or no answer in just a few weeks.
I’m excited for either answer. If it’s no, it will be another opportunity to step out in faith again. If it’s yes, that will be ridiculously exciting. Either way, we will continually have to trust in the Lord’s timing and provision. He’s brought us this far and I know that he won’t fail us now – even if things don’t get easier by the world’s standards.
As far as the next few weeks, I’m already on cruise control, trusting that his grace is indeed sufficient for either answer. I’ve moved on mentally to the next big issue I’m praying about. It’s a little bit major – a little bit earth-shattering, really. Who knows if I’ll get a yes, no or later. But that’s not really the point, is it? The point of life is to glorify God. And I will be sure of that regardless of how things turn out.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I’ve been meditating on this verse lately – Philippians 4:12. (I don’t go on to 13 because it’s another passage that’s been so hijacked in my own head that I force it to mean something it doesn’t mean.) It’s comforting. Paul had to deal with things that I will likely never experience. Yet his attitude was that of contentment. That’s what I strive for. We have it so good here in the States, like I’ve said before, there’s no reason to complain. At all.
So yeah, I’m really grateful for this season whether it’s coming to a close or continuing. God is still good. Grace is still amazing. I deserve hell but I get Jesus. There isn’t a much better trade-off than that!