small realizations

Ever have that moment when the light bulb comes on above your head a little brighter than usual? When you realize something no one but you could have ever figured out, and even though it only applies to yourself, it’s too fascinating to just turn off?

Yeah, that happened to me this week.  My realization wasn’t profound but it was a little unnerving, to be honest.

I realized that I haven’t really applied for a job in the last five years. I mean, I have applied. I’ve had interviews and left town to meet up with strangers. But I was always the shoo-in. Sure, there were other people applying but I pretty much had it in the bag. The last three times. (The fact that I’ve only interviewed three times in the last five years says something too, but I’m sure what yet!)

In fact, out of the 12 jobs I’ve interviewed for since I started working 13 years ago, I’ve gotten all but two of them. I didn’t even have to worry about eight of them – that’s how sure I was that I was in. I’d either been told ahead of time that I had the job already or that I was the most qualified but the offer wouldn’t be arriving same day.

As cool as that sounds, it’s sort of not. I don’t really know how to deal with nervousness associated with looking for a job and waiting for a callback. Waiting for a callback where I’m told “Thanks but no thanks.” I wish I was better with that kind of stress because I can only imagine it’ll be worse as I get older. I can see why so many Americans were so attached to their jobs and worked at the same place for 30 or 40 years before retiring. Interviews can be stressful! Strange that it took me until I was 27 to acknowledge this very simple fact but it did.

Better late than never, right? ;)

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