Ok, my title was a bit arrogant. I apologize.
This girl just got married a few days ago to a guy she met in real life five months before. (You can read the whole story on her blog.)
People always ask “How long did you date before you got married?” which is funny. Before I met and fell in love with N, I figured date a year, being engaged for six months. The usual.
As it turns out, both of us had been engaged before and both engagements ended badly, so in the end we just skipped that part of the process and jumped right in. We talked about getting married this last summed but there was really no point in waiting that long once we decided.
There is no perfect timing for moving from dating to engaged and married. Would I recommend people marry within five months of meeting each other? Uhhh, no. Definitely not. Do I think we’re some exception to the rule? Nope. Not that either.
The reality is, I can name people who, despite incredibly fast engagements and rocky middles, who are still together. And you can think of couples you know who dated for YEARS and were engaged for YEARS and still ended up divorced. Boo on that.
There is no magic number that will keep your marriage together. That said, don’t be foolish. If I had to put money on Lauren and Max’s marriage, I would. I don’t know them personally but they’re madly in love with each other and understand that marriage is joyful sacrifice. They both get that their spouse is a human being, full of faults, flaws, imperfections – and they love each other in spite of that. Also, living in a car for five months might tell you pretty quick whether you can put up with someone for life.
I met a couple out our community group last week who just got married a month ago and they’d dated for four years. When I said “Five months.” it may have sounded a bit ridiculous to them but it worked out.
Don’t let anyone tell you how long you need to date or be engaged before you get married. (My favorite is when the person giving advice has been divorced several times. Gee, thanks for that…) Do what works for you and as long as the intentions of both parties are to love and serve Jesus by loving and serving each other and the church, the length of time doesn’t matter much or at all.