My Former Life

In April our church had a women’s training day to help train and disciple women to be godly wives, mothers, employees, friends. It was amazing – super encouraging and insightful. It was definitely a long day being five months pregnant but worth every minute. The last session was a Q&A time with a panel of women who had spoken during the day. One question resonated with me and I still think about it.

The questions were all asked via text so there was anonymity on behalf of the questioner. One of the last questions to come through was a mom who essentially said “I do not want to tell my sexual sin to my children, what do I do?” The gal who had taught the breakout session on sex was chosen to answer, and she was really a good choice since she has four kids of her own. After telling a story about how her second child asked her point blank in the car with all three other kiddos whether she was a virgin when she got married (to which mom replied with a condescending look, “What do you think?”), she told how she then had to go back to her daughter and repent and tell her the truth.

She explained that after Jesus redeems us, our stories are no longer ours and we have no right to keep them to ourselves. In my mind it sort of came down to basically telling my son, “Yes, Jesus saved me from my sin but I saved myself from lust.” That’s a flat out lie. Our pride often leads us to protect our sin instead of being honest about them, as Paul was in Galatians 1, which leads to God being glorified. We were saved from our sins by our Savior not by ourselves and our own efforts, so we really have no right to “hide” our sins from others, because by doing so we diminish the glory of God who saved us from them. If we truly believe that we aren’t saved by our attempts at being good and “walking the straight and narrow”, then not declaring what the Lord saved us from isn’t even an option.

I immediately had to correct my way of thinking – not that I thought I was going to try and hide sins from my son in order to try and keep him believing that I was perfect – to what that looked like practically. Dillinger (sorry if you read this 10 years from now, buddy. Love you!) will probably be hearing The Talk by kindergarten, in hopes that we can try to preempt the kids who bring their daddies’ porn to school on their iPhones, sexting, experimenting and the like. That’s about five years from now. Heh. WISH US LUCK. But seriously, if we can show Dillinger that if Jesus can save us, his parents, from our sin and depravity, he can save anybody, maybe he’ll be inspired and empowered by the Holy Spirit to choose to obey and follow Jesus at a much younger age than his parents did.

Either way, Jesus gets the glory in our stories because he’s the hero and we’re the bad guy. Pretending that it is any other way is pride and self-deception. I’m quite sure I’ll have to repent of this a thousand times (to Dillin and Jesus!) but the goal is never to hide our sins but to proclaim that though our sin is great, Jesus is greater still. And that is something we should be excited to share with our children, not ashamed of!



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2 responses to “My Former Life

  1. Nan

    You’re a beautiful person and are going to be a GREAT mom! xo

  2. Allison

    I agree with Nan, this is great! I also agree that if we like to our kids are about what we’ve done in the past, we don’t get to tell them what Jesus did to forgive us and bring us back to where we belong.

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