Thursday Hate: Stupid Skinny

I hate that in America, a country in which 2/3 of the citizenry is overweight, women think

THIS

candice-swanepoel

is attractive and

THIS

aager

is gross.

I hate that mentally we are so f***** up that starving ourselves is more appealing than lifting heavy things. I hate that the average American woman’s vision of beauty is not much different from rapists’ vision of a future victim.

Weak, small, powerless.

I dare you to take on the mind of a predator next time you’re at the mall or grocery store. Which women look like easy targets? Which look like they wouldn’t (be able to) put up much of a fight?

I’m putting myself on that list, personally. I think I look like easy prey.

That’s what we as women are programmed to strive for. In my opinion, skinny is a mental disease in this country and most women, big or small, have been infected. I’m speaking from experience when I write this, believe me.

I’m not naive enough to think that my tough love is going to convince women and girls that the images in the magazines are toxic I was that girl once. I finally (FINALLY!) got down to the elusive size zero. As I faced myself in the mirror wearing $300 jeans that had 24″ on the tag, I distinctly thought one thing.

I. STILL. LOOK. FAT.

That’s when I knew I had a problem. And the problem wasn’t the size of the jeans that cost more than my car payment. The problem was that I had been telling myself for years that I was fat. So when I looked in the mirror, even though I weighed 117 pounds and was a size zero, all I saw was FAT.

This was almost seven years ago. It has taken nearly seven years to break myself of that way of thinking. I don’t believe in magic or fairytales. Retraining yourself to think about your body differently takes years.

And most of you don’t want to do it. I get that. I didn’t either. But I hope to at least spark an internal conversation that you can have with yourself for the next decade. You will not be satisfied with your body when you get to your goal weight. I promise you that. You will only be satisfied when you ditch the number on the scale and pay attention to the number on the bar.

Ok, maybe I crossed the line there. I admit I am biased and think CrossFit and paleo are cures for everything but that’s only because they are. And we all know you can’t replace ridiculous, unhealthy thinking and actions with nothing. You have to replace it with a new goal, a new focus.

But seriously, if not CrossFit, find something else. ANYTHING really. Throw out the magazines, delete your tumblr account if you need to. Stop obsessing over skinny. Stop starving your body of nutrients with low fat, zero nutrient diet.

CrossFit changed my mind about strong women. I dare you to let it change yours too.

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3 Comments

January 3, 2013 · 5:30 am

3 responses to “Thursday Hate: Stupid Skinny

  1. “Ok, maybe I crossed the line there. I admit I am biased and think CrossFit and paleo are cures for everything but that’s only because they are.”

    TRUTH! It’s not just people’s relationship with “skinny” that has them effed in the head… the emotional attachment we have with food is the underlying problem. Food is fuel- nothing else. As soon as the majority realizes that, and gets excited about the activity they’re engaged in, we’ll all be in a better place (CrossFit or otherwise). Great post!

  2. Pingback: I’m Not Strong Enough Either | We Are A Beginning

  3. Great post and I couldn’t agree more!! I went through similar body issues when being emaciated wasn’t enough, but thankfully I ‘converted’ to weight lifting and running instead of just plain starvation. I’m starting to see a trend where women are starting to realize that sculpted arms and a strong body rock, and I hope that trend continues and proliferates!

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