Tag Archives: breastfeeding

This Isn’t A War

I guess I have to go there.

I think the term “mommy wars” is completely absurd. I understand why people use it. Some moms talk like they would die for their causes.  But I hope I’m not the only mother or person else finds it slightly ridiculous and more than a bit insulting. I have opinions. Strong opinions that are rooted in my value system. I am not dropping bombs (figurative or literal) on moms who disagree with me and leaving their children orphans. I will suffer a fair amount of pain for some issues. (Hello, drug free child birth!) But not from you! Other issues I won’t suffer a paper cut for.

mom-toddler-reading

Yes, I feel that unless you are physically unable, you should breastfeed. I also think babies should be respected despite the fact that they aren’t born yet. They have shouldn’t be subjected to unnecessary drugs so that I can avoid a few hours of pain. There are exceptions to all these things. I don’t feel strongly one way or the other about vaccinations or the GMO/organic debate, issues for which some moms might take a bullet. Other moms refuse to post pictures of their kids online. Ok, great. That’s awesome that you respect your child so much! For us, that’s just not reality.

The point is, ALL of these things are opinions. You don’t like what I think? Who cares? I’ve done my research. You’ve done yours. Why do we have to start taking everyone else’s decisions to do things differently like it’s a personal attack? Why do we have to attack people who choose do things differently?

Here’s the deal. I’m not going to start a war. I’m not participating in war. I often make a racket; it’s just my personality to want to make a lot of noise. I want you to hear me. Just like you want me to hear you. I won’t necessarily respect your opinions – I’m just gonna be honest about that. But unless it’s my personal facebook page or blog, I’m not running around telling you how to give birth, what to feed your kid or when they can get shots.

My opinion is just that – mine. It should not make you insecure.

You should feel just as strongly that your planned induction and formula are the right choice for your baby as I feel that my intervention-free birth and breastmilk are for mine. Don’t make choices that you can’t support. If my options were formula or my son wasting away, I’d choose formula too!

Disagree with me? Cool. We can still be friends! I’m not sending anyone home in a casket. So don’t act like I’m a part of your downfall or a part of your war. Don’t imply that because I believe differently that I’m intentionally attacking your choices. There are no uniforms or tanks at my house. There shouldn’t be any at yours. Moms who drink soy milk and babies who were born via c-section are welcome at our house every day of the week!

(Picture found here.)

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Breastfeeding and Lust

Yes. I had to go there.

I had a minor lapse of memory and posted a pro-breastfeeding uncovered picture on Instagram. Naturally everyone and their mothers appeared to give their opinion. I agreed with most of the comments. There were lots of “please be discreet” comments, mostly from women who aren’t yet mothers but they make a fair point. And of course there were responses of “I try to be discreet but my child can come unlatched and move a cover faster than the blink of an eye.” The final group that always makes an appearance are conservative, evangelical Christian women preaching against causing men to stumble. More on that in a minute.

I never understood why someone wouldn’t use a nursing cover before I had Dillinger. Truly. Didn’t get it. I didn’t want anyone to see my breasts, whether I was feeding my kid or not! But then one day, I actually had a son to feed. Which, for those who haven’t tried it yet, means holding a baby, a breast, connecting the two while holding your shirt and bra in place out of baby’s way and if you’re a sprayer like me, holding a blanket or burp rag. NO ONE TOLD ME IT WOULD REQUIRE AT LEAST FIVE HANDS TO FEED MY CHILD. Dear Lord.

Within days of Dillinger’s arrival I had announced that my nursing cover was the bane of my existence and that I despised living in a puritanical culture where nursing mothers are a menace to society in which men have access to high definition pornography on their phones. How dare anyone force him to ever see a woman feed her child in public because he might sin!!1!

Back to evangelical Christians.

Growing up in youth group, we girls were regularly told to be very careful about our selection of dress when we were around young men. So, basically, always. Spaghetti straps, two piece swimsuits, short shorts were all out because that was “causing your brother to stumble”. Girls and women have essentially been told by the church that men have absolutely zero ability to control themselves sexually and or mentally. And worse, THAT THEY ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN THOUGHT LIVES. Additionally, these women have been told that the difference between a good Christian brother and teenager masturbating in his bedroom was the same as the difference between a regular tank and spaghetti straps. So make sure you wear a loose fitting tee and long khaki shorts that are a size too big because, you know. Lust. And the Lord and stuff.

While I think it is very important to be modest as a Christian woman, it’s still something the Lord is working out in my life by the Holy Spirit. I am not naturally a modest individual because I am fairly oblivious. I just do not think often about my body, so assume no one else thinks about it either. But here is the thing. The average boy is exposed to pornography by age 11. The average high school boy has access to high definition pornography in a few seconds on his cell phone. So to tell Christian women that the entire thought life of every man she passes rides on a nursing cover or a tank top is beyond naive. If a boy hasn’t decided how to deal with lust by that point, it’s pretty much too late.

Men have to deal with breasts everywhere they turn. On actual women, on television, in ads, while checking out of the grocery store. The average guy is far less likely to stare and lust over a woman feeding her baby than he otherwise would if she were walking by on the street. Men who feel breastfeeding is sexual or a turn on are perverts who need Jesus and therapy or maybe a five cent bullet to the back of the head. Because there are some types of messed up that can’t be fixed, even with 200 years of therapy.

But I digress.

If you happen to be one of those parents who actually speaks to your children, please teach your kids that breasts are for feeding babies. That’s why God made them. Husbands get to enjoy them too, but for child that piece of information doesn’t really apply.

If you are a wife, mom or sister of a guy who has access to the Internet or a smart phone, a mother feeding her child on the bench at the mall is the least of your worries, I assure you. If you do not believe me, either go through his browser history or walk him over to said mother and ask point blank if he’s turned on. I guarantee you he will start walking away, completely mortified.

If you are a women who feels responsible for the thought life of every guy you pass, please know that God is not going to hold you accountable for someone else’s actions and thoughts. But he will hold us accountable for our own, and on that point, where the Holy Spirit convicts us on the issue of modesty is an issue regarding which we all need to be concerned.

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UPDATE
I am being told by a married girlfriend that some men do find it extremely attractive when their wives feed and care for their children. This does not mean husbands try to jump their wives at every feeding. This may be due to the fact that if they did, they would quickly be punched in the face. (My husband would like me to point out that he doesn’t particularly find it attractive, stating that “there’s really not much to see” when D is eating.)

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Friday Love: Be Kind

At the advice of my go-to CrossFit/paleo guru, Jake S, I am not going to kick up my CrossFit into high gear until I am done nursing. I do not know when that will be. For now, I’ll be going about 2x a week. I’d like to go more often in order to get better faster but as I thought about it, it’s not worth the risk of losing my milk supply and having to feed my precious baby formula. I know some people are into that. I’m way (WAY!!) to freakin crunchy for it, personally. Like c-sections, I’m glad it’s there in the instances someone would die without it. But I don’t want to put myself in that position.

I’ve been seeing a lot of people write blogs about or post IG pictures of their grandparents lately. I think that’s so cool. All my grandparents had passed away by the time I graduated from high school and I wasn’t particularly close to any of them but slowly getting to know N’s grandparents has made me really appreciate the role that they can play in someone’s life. What a blessing to loving grandparents. If you do, don’t take them for granted. Here was one of my favorites by Sara at Glitter & Grace. Definitely go check it out.

If you could get new year’s wishes, I think I would to be kinder and to care more. I see a lot of happy, loving people who are great examples but my darker tendencies still kind of overshadow my hopes to be less… insensitive. It’s hard because I thoroughly enjoy ruffling people’s feathers. Ugh. :)

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Step It Up

Yesterday, I realized that I needed to get serious about working out. While I don’t beat myself up about it, I’m not very strong yet. I still have a considerable amount of belly fat left over from pregnancy, though I’m within a pound of my normal pre-pregnancy weight range. As I have said before, the fastest way to recover from pregnancy weight gain is CrossFit and breastfeeding! However, this combination is not for the faint of heart. Heh. Hey, I should start some weird movement about this. CF+BF. Hehe. (c) don’t even think about it!

EDIT

I tried yoga for the first time yesterday and am obsessed! Even beginners yoga so hard! I never would have guessed. Mad respect for all the yogis out there who I thought were just sitting around breathing deeply and emptying their minds. My apologies. So I’m adding that to my mix as well. Hoping to squeeze in 15 minutes a day during naptime or something. I don’t plan on taking an actual class for a while yet!

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Nano started a juice fast Sunday night so I have been busy recommitting to paleo after crashing and burning with CF + BF. My friend Jake, who is my go to resource for all things paleo, asked me what I was eating daily and then informed me that I wasn’t getting enough carbs. He suggested throwing sweet potatoes in the oven right before leaving for CrossFit so there was a high carb snack waiting when we got home. Genius! I load my sweet potato up with tons of clarified butter (several tablespoons) and eat the whole thing. Sweet potato skin is basically paleo candy. So dang yummy.

On that note, I will officially call BS on anyone who says they don’t eat paleo because they can’t get enough carbs. If you need more carbs but you’re low carb while doing paleo, you’re doing it wrong.

Hoping to have some interviews with CrossFit coaches and keep a better log of what our WODs are at the box here in the near future so you can see that I’m not at all impressive at my sport of choice. Seriously, I suck at it. ;)

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Random Thoughts (Which are usually offensive?)

I offend people a lot. I don’t view this as an asset though I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t sometimes enjoy it. I really need to work on being more positive and kind and less… abrasive.

Found out recently that in some places, you can recent cash from the government if your child is diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. In a country run by perverse incentives, all I will say on this matter is that it will be very difficult to find a cure if many of the children who have autism don’t actually have autism. (The Thomas Sowell Reader, 2011)

I find it highly comical that a company would send out an email on Christmas Day with the headline “Happy Holidays”. Is the concept of Christmas so offensive that we can’t even type the word? Maybe we should just shortcut all this silliness and turn Christmas into a swear word. “Damn it to Christmas, you fool!” Yeah. I could get behind that usage… ;)

The furniture we’ve purchased via Craigslist is way nicer than the pieces we have picked up at Ikea and Target. I  used to hate the concept of buying things used (exception for cars) but buying something of poor quality because it’s never been used by anyone doesn’t make a lot of sense to me anymore.

Currently, I am eating whatever I want whenever I want it. I can barely maintain my present weight (about a pound over pre-baby weight) and milk supply. Dear everyone looking for a magic diet pill: It’s called CrossFit and breastfeeding. You’re welcome!

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(Christmas Abbott, stolen from the Progenex website.)

This year in the UK, the 10th most requested Christmas gift was “a dad”. I know a lot of guys who want to get married someday and I hope they are paying attention to this. Father figures needed. It’s a job that will empty your bank account, frustrate you beyond belief and have rewards that will live on long after you are gone.

“Despite the problems that come with aging, I would not be a teenager again for $1,000 a day plus expenses.” – Dr. Thomas Sowell

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Thursday Hateday ;)

Trying some new ideas with video. I’m such a huge technotard but I’m trying to change that so bear with me? I’d really appreciate it. Here’s my little rant for the week!

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