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The Unthankful List

One of those times when I am not feeling very thankful. Boo hiss.

I’ve been laying in the guest bedroom at my in laws’ for over two hours with Dillinger. Pretty sure he’s sick. His nose has been running and now he’s getting congested. He will sleep on my chest and screams if I move him even right next to me. There’s a pile of our stuff right outside the door that needs to be sorted so this was not how I was hoping to spend my evening. I know that I’m supposed to treasure every freaking moment because Sandy Hook could happen to anyone and all that but honestly I’m maxed out. Seeing your baby sick sucks plenty when you’re employed and can afford to pay rent. If only we were that lucky.

Tomorrow is our last day with insurance for the foreseeable future which is a huge stressor for me. Not so much for N and myself but definitely for Dillinger. Thankfully we are currently in Portland, which is full of urgent care clinics if we need them. I guess he’ll just be behind on his immunizations for the rest of the year and we’ll just pray and hope God is gracious enough to keep us from any major illness or accidents for the next six or so months. I wouldn’t be opposed to putting Dillinger on state insurance but we aren’t really residents of any state we’ll be living in. The whole situation just makes me want to cuss. A lot.

I feel like such a witch for complaining. I really do. There’s a roof over our head, money coming in (albeit much less than last year) and food to eat. I don’t have to worry about gunshots or riots or how I’ll feed my kid. At the same time, it feels dishonest to act like everything is awesome when the rug gets pulled out from under you.

Our good friends are taking us to lunch tomorrow because we haven’t seen them in a while and because we are on a “lets go to coffee” budget as opposed to a “lets go to lunch” budget. The people in our lives are beyond generous in every way. I’m excited to see them and am sure I’ll be in better spirits by then.

For now, I’ll just keep wishing I was sipping a mojito… Or three. :)

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